Feeling Empty? You’re Not Alone and What to Do About It
To join the conversation and see other questions, check out our Aristotle’s Café Facebook Page here.
Feeling empty is a common feeling and it is not always a mental illness. It is a symptom of many different mental health conditions and can be caused by a number of factors.
Of all the many ways to deal with feeling empty, the best way to do it is to find out what the cause of your emptiness is.
Feeling empty can be caused by being in an emotionally abusive relationship or by other mental health conditions such as depression, anxiety, or bipolar disorder.
You might feel like you are missing purpose or meaning. One thing to know is that you aren’t alone, these feelings are something that many people struggle with.
Some have described it as experiencing a colorless life, where love hides and light dies, only darkness surfaces to suck dry the meaning and fulfilling enjoyments of life.
At Aristotle’s Cafe’, we spoke about what it is like to feel empty, why we do and how to alleviate ourselves from its tightly squeezed grasp.
How Do We Define Empty?
The definition of what it is to feel empty varies from person to person. Some undergo feelings of despair and numbness, losing touch with the pleasing embrace that happiness provides.
Others feel depressed and suicidal, filled with mentally unhealthy emotions and at the same time vacant from life.
However, what is common amongst most people, is feeling weightless, worthless, like nothing at all matters, regardless of the supposed significance of a situation, action or event. Like a black hole ragingly absorbing their reason for existing, they feel void, living life without satisfaction.
One culprit is a fixed mindset instead of a growth mindset.
On the most intense level, even their words they speak are without meaning, definitions and implications are of no use.
Why Do We Feel Empty?
Feeling empty is a feeling that most people experience at some point in their lives. It is not always easy to understand why we feel this way, but it usually has something to do with our mental health.
The first step to feeling better is to identify the reason for the emptiness and then find ways to address it.
“There is always something that we’re reaching out for.” One of our members said that during our discussion, and it is true. There seems to be a deep-rooted urge to want something or someone, and when we do not have the thing or person we feel somewhat empty.
So how do we stop feeling empty? How do we stop things before it becomes a mental illness full of emotional numbness?
So often when we do obtain what is causing our feeling of hollowness, we move on and desire more. It consequently ends up being a vicious cycle of false fulfillment and further emptiness.
Why it is in the first place that we wish to have what we presently do not, may be the cause of our society and culture. In the West, there is a fascination in acquiring things, a materialistic fixation. (Hint: a good conversation is better than all of that)
Therefore, as we have noticed, no real value is ever found within the accumulation of things, so as a result, people feel that they are lacking.
Is Feeling Empty a Good or Bad Thing?
There is the philosophical yin and yang principle, as implied by someone in the group during our discussion, that states we need to know what it is like to feel empty so that we can be aware and understand when it is that we feel satisfied.
If you never feel empty, how do you know when you feel fulfilled? That is a core philosophical understanding that applies to life in general.
To understand what happiness is, one must experience misery, and so forth. Therefore, there is somewhat of an upside to feeling void.
Of course, feeling empty in life never really feels good so this might seem really counterintuitive to people reading this. In the end, no one really enjoys the struggle or pain that comes with challenges. But hopefully, it will help you to know that everything gets better with experience.
And it might not seem like it now, but sometimes we have to become who we are meant to be through some of these struggles.
"You cannot be more sensitive to pleasure without being more sensitive to pain" - Alan Watts
What Should You Do When You Feel Empty?
The first advice mentioned by a member of Aristotle’s Cafe’ was to meditate. Meditation is a form of practice that supplies a being with energy that they can find within by act of concentration. One form of meditation to achieve this is when you quiet the mind and return yourself to the present moment.
As a result, you get back into touch with the environment where you currently reside, causing you to reconnect to the ever-present, magnificently tranquil experience of being here and now.
The essential of practicing the meditative art of quieting the mind is simply to be alert, attentive to what is happening in the felt moment, and the easiest way to achieve this for beginners is just to listen. Listen to the birds’ chirp outside your window, the wind howls underneath your feet, the vehicles of motorist pass by from one ear to the other.
By doing so, you engage in the felt moment of immediate experience, and that alone can be a source to provide you with the fulfillment you need.
Another way to satisfy yourself of feeling whole and complete is to redirect your focus towards where you find value in life. To no longer desire expensive cars that are way outside of your paycheck, but to find happiness within the vehicles that you can purchase.
Also, to find things of value about yourself, such as your intelligence, humor, knowledge, abilities and so forth.
The most significant action that you should take, however, is to seek help by speaking to someone you love and trust. Converse with them, clear your mind by voicing your thoughts, for when you do so, you extract your mind by use of verbalization. (For a list of topics to talk about, check out our 15 Expert Tips)
That will allow you to present yourself with a platform to understand better and dissect why it is that you are feeling empty. If you do not have anyone for you live a lonely life, then communicate with yourself, get to know who you are by becoming aware of your thoughts.
Feeling Empty – Where to Find Fulfillment?
Fulfillment is personal. If you find purpose and meaning to your existence by watching cartoons, then so be it, that is where you discover your satisfaction.
We spoke about this, and we agreed that so long as you are happy, and are not impeding the completion of anyone else, then what society says about where you spend your existence should not matter.
That gave rise to another thought that was put forth in our discussion which proposed the question; “Is it, therefore, our society that causes our feeling of emptiness in the first place?” For collectively, we lay the social foundations that accept where it is that one should find satisfaction, and where it is not.
So, if you are someone in whom follows strictly what your society collectively agrees upon in regards to where you should feel complete and find your satisfaction and fulfillment, then you will most likely, ultimately be misguided and never achieve that but rather acquire emptiness.
Moreover, that will cause you to continue the vicious cycle of never being satisfied regardless of what you achieve, acquire and obtain. For where your real fulfillment will be found, is in what society deems as wasteful, such as watching cartoons.
Feeling empty in life can arise within many of us. Its purpose can be useful, such as using it as a voice to inform you that what you are doing is not what you love to do. However, its existence can be hurtful and unhealthy, such as giving birth to depression because of it.
Therefore, how we go about emptiness is essential for your well-being. Use it as a guide to direct you back to where you will feel complete and satisfied, so that you no longer feel void but rather alive.
Helpful Resources
Here are a few resources to take the first step to feeling better: